Jack Shephard: How can you read?
Ben Linus: My mother taught me. I can read, Jack, because it beats what you're doing.
Jack Shephard: What's that?
Ben Linus: Waiting for something to happen.
Well, I can't read....
Yeah, exactly the same thing. Waiting for something to happen which I know won't. I have noticed this situation that I have been in for quite some time now. Yet I haven't done a single thing to change it. It's like I'm stuck and can't keep going. I'm fixed on that one moment which ruined everything. Things have been on hold for me ever since. Can't progress, can't do nothing new. Just waiting for it to magically happen. And you would have guessed that I should have been used to being the best expert in ruining my relationships with people by now.
Anyways.. I opened this journal when I was at the bottom and very depressed and I promised that this would be an enjoyable place to forget my sorrow. But it turned out to be the other way around. Whenever I am depressed, I come here to talk and relieve myself. It's like my little box of confessions. It's good to write some stuff anyways.